Bonds, T.O. still news; upsets galore in tourney, WBC, By: Alex Cole, Assistant Sports Editor

March 23, 2006

This has been an unbelievably hectic week in sports. March Madness has begun in college basketball, free agency continues in the NFL, the World Baseball Classic (WBC) ended and a book about Barry Bonds using steroids dropped in stores.

Let's start off with March Madness. Your bracket is screwed! The beauty of that situation is, so is everyone else's. Teams like George Mason, Bradley and Wichita State are not suppose to be in the Sweet 16. But every year, it happens, so you just hope they lose sooner rather than later.

Terrell Owens, "The Tool," has found another team to ruin: the Dallas Cowboys. As an Eagles fan, I am both terrified of and excited about this signing -- terrified it might work out and the Cowboys could make a Super Bowl run, but excited to watch Michael Lewis, Brian Dawkins and Jeremiah Trotter tee off on T.O.

I can't wait until the weak Dallas Cowboys' offensive line cannot protect Drew Bledsoe long enough for him to find the ball-hungry wide out. T.O. will start running his mouth and Bill Parcells will be having none of that. Parcells has made Lawrence Taylor, Hall of Fame linebacker, want to cry with the amount of insults he would berate him with. T.O. can dish out the insults but he cannot take them, so this is a match made in heaven for Eagles' fans. Also, if you get a chance, you should go to www.terrellowens.com and listen to his rap about how selfish he is.

Next on our long list of topics that must be covered is the WBC. Cuba against Japan for the championship? No one would have thought this - not even Fidel Castro. At first, I was shocked to see Japan doing so well, but then I thought about it and it makes sense. Their Little League teams are always winning world championships - why not win this? As for Cuba, they are just sticking it to the United States, because we were not even going to let them participate in the event for political reasons. Between the two teams, there is only one major leaguer, Ichiro Suzuki, on the starting lineups.

Japan beat Cuba in the finals with a 10-6 victory.

P.S. - way to go USA: all major league baseball players and not even a semifinal appearance - you remind me of our country's basketball team.

Last but not least is Barry Bonds. Guess what? He is on steroids! I had no idea. But with the release of the book "Game of Shadows," you an read all about his use of "Mexican beans." Commissioner Bud Selig will launch an investigation into the allegations of Bonds' use of drugs.

The next issue would be whether to allow Bonds' records to stand. Personally, I think they should. If the man is still standing after all the substances he has put in his body, someone should recognize him. After reading an excerpt of the book, I'm pretty sure Bonds' body should not even work. According to the book one part of him doesn't work as well, as Bonds now suffers from sexual dysfunction. Being home run king must be worth it.

Much like Al Capone, Bonds will probably end up in jail for tax evasion. Go figure, another millionaire that can't beat the IRS.

Stud of the Week: Sixteen seeds. The average margin of victory for the one seeds was only 14.5 points. Albany gave the University of Connecticut a serious run for their money, leading by as many as 12 points in the second half. Look out, top seeds, the little guys want to play now!

Bonehead of the Week: Big 10. They managed to get six teams into the tournament, and all six found a way to lose before the weekend was over. At least Michigan is still in the National Invitational Tournament.

Stat of the Week: Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko's wife allows him to spend one night with another woman each year. Tony Kornheiser, Pardon the Interruption host, said, "She is a top five wife; all-time. In fact, she is up there right now on the Mount Rushmore of wives."